Evangelion Act 3

There's one sure-fire to kill an angel, and that is to destroy its core, also referred to as its S2 organ. The S2 organ basically gives an angel unlimited energy. It's the next best thing to immortality. To get to its S2 organ, you'll need to break through its AT field, which is basically a force field that both angels and Evas possess, composed of the "light of [their] souls." So in the climax of the series, when Unit 01 goes berserk, becomes aware of herself and her surroundings, takes on a nonsensical sync ratio with Shinji ("over 400%"), shreds the Angel's AT field and eats the Angel's core, it's a good time to consider the possibility that humanity might just be screwed.

In the final act of Evangelion, we're on a rapid ride to the end.

Of the world.

S2 Engines are tasty. *****/5 stars.

Before the plot can take a step forwards, it takes two steps back. It turns out that a 400% sync ratio has happened before -- to Shinji's mother, who was absorbed into Eva and declared dead. And it turns out that as Unit 01 has become aware, Shinji has been absorbed into her. Psychedelic stuff happens ans Shinji spends a month without a body while the staff at Nerv carefully construct a means to reintegrate his body and soul.

Professor Fuyutski is abducted for interrogation, and when that happens we get filled in on a lot of the details about Nerv's past, including the 2nd Impact and the relationship between Gendo and Yui Ikari. We learn that there's a striking similarity between Yui and Rei, Ritsuko Akagi's mother -- who, after Yui's "death," had a relationship with Gendo -- was so delighted by this similarity that she killed Rei and herself. Yes, childhood Rei got dead. Plot hole? Not just yet.

The release of Fuyutski costs Kaji his life. Remember, while Kaji hasn't done a lot to directly influence Shinji, he has spurred Shinji on, helped Shinji to think things through, and was the motivational voice that drove Shinji to man up at the end of Act 2. So, Kaji turns around dies. The man that has been helping to bolster Shinji up is now ripped out from underneath Shinji. But that's okay. Shinji's still got his co-pilots, right?

Shinji's relationship with Asuka: Asuka believes that she needs to be the best in order for her life to have value and meaning. So every time Shinji progresses, Asuka regresses. By the time the 15th Angel attacks, Asuka's regressed so much that her performance as a pilot is slipping ans she's demoted (if you will) to Rei's back-up. But she won't have a bar of that, so she charges on ahead, only to get her mind raped by the Angel. The Angel cuts through all her bravado to expose her for the ravaged, traumatised child that she is, to the point that the next time she pilots Unit 02, she won't even be able to make the Eva move.

Asuka withdraws from everyone, and declares her hatred for Shinji, Misato, "that bitch Rei," and herself. She shuts down, and the search for the 5th Child as her replacement to pilot Unit 02 commences. As Asuka shuts down, there is no longer anything left for her to give Shinji. She can no longer build him up in any way. The girl who became for him the representative of the reality of womankind fades away into oblivion.

Shinji's relationship with Rei: Act 1 ended with Rei putting her life on the line to protect Shinji, but Shinji ultimately saving her and everyone in a big emotional moment. In the battle against the 16th Angel, Nerv are reluctant to send Shinji up to fight. Apparently a self-aware beast that's capable of going berserk and now has unlimited energy is somewhat of a liability. But, when all else fails and the 16th Angel is merging itself with Rei through Unit 00, Shinji is sent up to intercede. However, his efforts are in vain, and in order to prevent the Angel from merging with Shinji/01 as well, Rei opts to contain the Angel within her AT field, absorb it into herself, and self-destruct.

Think about what this symbolises for Shinji. All this time, Shinji's relationship with Rei has been building him up. Now that he's taken his first real step of manning up, Rei sacrifices herself for him, and from that moment on can longer be there to lift him up. Shinji is no longer able to depend on anyone else.

Rei seems pretty dead right now, right?

Nekminut...

O HAI.

Noticing a pattern here? Rei dies --> tada! She's alive. Rei dies!! --> TADA! She's ALIVE! Like mother like daughter, Ritsuko becomes jealous of Rei's relationship with Gendo, but doesn't take it out on the Rei we all know and love. Instead, she brings Shinji and Misato down into the depths of Nerv, where the components for the dummy plug system (which almost killed Toji) are made. The "components" being an LCL-filled tank of Reis.

And Ristuko kills every last one of them.

Just for added creep factor, we get to hear them giggling while their bodies crumble and dissolve in the LCL.

Now let's do the math here:

• Rei has a disturbingly affectionate relationship with Gendo (well, as affectionate as the two least affectionate humans on Earth can get).
• Rei is protective of Shinji.
• Shinji identifies motherly qualities in Rei.
• Rei looks a lot like Yui.
• On one occasion, Rei has specifically offered to risk her life because: "If I die, I can be replaced."
• The dummy plug system is a mass-produced series of Reis.

Those are the facts the series gives us at this point. Care to fill in the blanks?

The Fifth Child:

Asides from Shinji, each of the other Children have been decimated. Toji has lost limbs. Asuka has lost her mind. Rei has died repeatedly. And Shinji can no longer relate to any of them.

Enter Kaworu Nagisa, the 5th Child.

Kaworu will appear to Shinji as a fulfillment of all of his needs, and the perfection of the roles of each of the other Children. Kaworu immediately connects with Shinji and offers Shinji his love. This is love that crosses all definitions. This is brotherly love. This is the love of friendship. This is unconditional love, which Shinji will never have to earn. And this is romantic love.

I should interject here and point out that at no point thus far has Shinji shown any hint of romantic interest in males. At one point, Kaji (jokingly?) flirted with Shinji, to get the flat rejection: "Kaji, I'm a boy." This is somewhat out of character, but I feel that to make sense of this relationship, we shouldn't be looking at how it fits with the characters, but how it fits thematically. And how it fits thematically is, in one person, to fulfill the needs that every other person in Shinji's life has failed at.

To top it all off, as an Eva pilot, Kaworu is exquisite. Shinji showed some real Chosen One potential early in the series, and the story has kind of progressed around that ideal, but while Shinji has had to "work hard" and undergo endless trials to grow as a pilot, Kaworu has such mastery as a pilot just by showing up that it is fair to say he pilots Unit 02 as naturally as any normal person breathes.

Kaworu might even be able to mend damaged bridges. After all, while Shinji can't relate to Rei any more, that won't stop Kaworu, who tells her that she is like him.

Everything looks so good...for about 10 minutes.

Kaworu is almost looking like a Messiah, but perhaps he's a little bit closer to an Antichrist. If it's too good to be true, it probably isn't. It's probably Kaworu, instead. Kaworu is the 17th and Final Angel.

While the 14th Angel managed to make its way into the outer regions of Nerv, Kaworu makes his way into the deepest part of Nerv, where Lilith (the 2nd Angel, who has previously been presented as Adam, the 1st Angel) is hung up on a cross. And Shinji must make a choice: kill Kaworu and save the world, or let Kaworu destroy the world for his own personal gain.

Finally, Shinji commits to what he couldn't commit to with Toji.

The End of the World:

Everyone wins!

Most fans were not happy with the last 2-3 episodes, seemingly because of the direction they went in. My main complaint is just that there were only 3 episodes when the story needed more like 6: an extra episode or two to make me care about Kaworu ("Hi, I just met you, and this is crazy, but I love and now I'm going to destroy the world" just doesn't build the character up enough for me to feel the betrayal); and an extra episode or two to get us from that battle to the Human Instrumentality Project which unfolds in the final two episodes.

Now, while I haven't talked about it much, the Human Instrumentality Project has been mentioned consistently throughout the series. What have we been told about it? Jack diddley squat, which is exactly why I haven't told you anything about it.

The final 2 episodes give us a somewhat positive representation of the Human Instrumentality Project. It's still messed up and weird, but through the Human Instrumentality Project, Shinji learns to stand on his own two feet and not just be in the world having life imposed on him, but to become proactive about his life. Yay, happy ending.

The movie, which I don't recommend watching unless you like having a cartoon rape your face, decided to show us how we actually got the that point. And just how did we get there? Just a little thing called 3rd Impact, which the Eva pilots and most of Nerv* have been trying to prevent all along.

*Most of. As in, not all of. In fact, Gendo has been orchestrating everything all along so that 3rd Impact will happen, but on his terms. What a nice guy.

The movie gives us a less positive outcome -- while the series leaves us in a state of hope (or confusion, for most fans), the movie takes Shinji back out of the idea of what could be, into the reality of what is.

The Mechanics of 3rd Impact:

When Kaworu faced Lilith (though he was targeting Adam), the Nerv systems had already identified him as an Angel. Then two more AT fields exploded onto the system, each wielding incredible strength. One was Lilith's. The other...was Rei.

This is how he and Rei are the same. Both are human. Both are angelic.

Rei is made from Yui Ikari's body. Unit 01, after absorbing Yui, possesses her soul.

In Nerv, Lilith is on the cross, while Adam, still in chrysalis form, is merged into Gendo's hand.

Gendo's goal appears to be:

1. Merge with Adam
2. With Adam, merge with Rei
3. With Adam and Rei, merge with Lilith
4. With Adam, Rei and Lilith, merge with Unit 01, to become a god with his wife, Yui.

That doesn't go according to plan, and so Rei absorbs Adam out of Gendo, but refuses to merge with Gendo. He misses out. Ha!

Once Rei, merged with Lilith and Adam, becomes a god, projections of Rei appear everywhere to collect the souls of mankind. This function occurs retro-actively: as a god, she's no longer limited in time, and so prior to this event we see her projections collecting the souls of characters who have already died. This also explains why we saw a living, healthy projection of Rei at the start of episode 1, despite her being all but dead at the time.

When it's time for Unit 01 (with Shinji inside) to merge with Rei/Adam/Lilith, instrumentality begins.

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Act 2

The other week I unpacked a bit about Act 1 of NGE here.

Time to move on to Act 2.

Being a 3-Act series, Act 2 is where everything starts escalating, especially towards the end of the Act. Act 2 spans from Episode 8-19. If Act 1 introduces Shinji's fantasies, Act 2 is where we get to see him struggle with reality. A couple new characters are introduced, namely Asuka Langley Sorhyu and Ryouji Kaji. The stakes with the Evas and Angels are also raised dramatically, as we learn about Adam (the First Angel, who caused the 2nd Impact that wiped out half the world 15 years ago, and who, unlike the other angels we've encountered, is still alive in some form).

Shinji's relationship with Asuka: If Rei represents Shinji's fantasies of womankind, then Asuka represents the reality. While Rei is obedient, Asuka is utterly uncontrollable. While Rei seldom expresses any emotion, Asuka is louder than life -- and not in a cute, quirky way; but in a self-centered, self-righteous, narcissistic, arrogant, volatile way. She manages to pull of the whole pseudo-sweet, subtle bitch thing that makes me nauseus when I see it for all of about 1 episode when she first arrives at school. Beyond that, she doesn't even normally feign being a pleasant person (except, perhaps, for when she's trying to seduce Kaji, which is still less creepy than what I flagged between Rei and Gendo last time).

When we first meet Asuka, her and Shinji end up piloting Eva Unit 02 together, which is generally considered a bad idea (initially the Eva doesn't even activate properly due to having two people thinking inside it), yet seems to work out in the end. Against the next angel, Shinji and Asuka have to learn to do everything together (aww, how cute), including dancing, eating, sleeping, brushing their teeth...if they didn't hate each other so much, this would be such a sweet romance. All of that amounts to the battle being won, though. Later in the Act, they even kiss. Shinji almost dies of asphyxiation in the process, and Asuka runs away afterwards to wash her mouth out. It's so beautiful.

Oh yeah. Did I mention they have a penguin as their "other roommate?" Yeah, they have a penguin.

As Shinji's relationship with Asuka develops, his sync ratio with Unit 01 improves, which in turn makes him a better pilot.

The first few times I watched this series, I didn't see any connection between how proud Asuka appears to be in Act 2 and how she turns out in Act 3. As I grew older, the connection and the build-up became obvious. Asuka is a deeply insecure, broken, psychologically frail, emotionally weak teenage girl. Sound like any other characters in the series we've been getting to know? The difference between Asuka and Shinji is primarily that Shinji's response to being so fractured is to curl up and hide from the world that's hurt him, whereas Asuka's response is to elevate herself over the world and try and stomp the world down underneath her so that it can't hurt her again. Neither of these options work.

Shinji's relationship with Kaji: Shinji and Kaji don't do much in the way of getting close throughout the series, although they have their exchanges. Kaji appears upfront as a shallow character whose sole purpose in life is to be cool and hit on any similar-aged human with a vagina. He's a slick salesman type superficially, who's described as "that cool guy who never shaves," but I suspect that he carefully spends an hour each morning going to excruciating lengths to make it look like he doesn't care about his grooming. He has a history with Misato, and unveiling that fact petrifies everyone except for himself and Shinji. The two have a few deep and meaningful moments, but mostly Kaji's focus is on rekindling things with Misato (while pretending not to care) and digging into all of Nerv's secrets. But it doesn't take long for us to find out that there's more to Kaji than his too cool to care exterior. At the end of Episode, we discover that he's got some secret VIP status and the shipment of Unit 02 from Germany to Japan was largely to protect him -- and more importantly, to protect his luggage: The First Angel, Adam, in chrysalis form, which he has delivered directly to Nerv, and to Gendo specifically.

Kaji's charisma isn't all cheap talk. In the climactic final episode of Act 2, it's Kaji's words that encourage Shinji to step up and finally be a man.

Shinji's relationship with Rei: Emphasis on Rei takes a backseat once Asuka enters the picture. Perhaps it shouldn't be surprising that the quiet girl gets less attention when the loud girl is demanding full attention.

Rei and Shinji attempt to synchronise with each other's Evas in one episode: Rei succeeds, but feels strange in Unit 01; Shinji fails and Unit 00 girls berserk, in a scene that parallels the failed sync test that Rei did to get her injuries at the start of the series. One theory arises that when Unit 00 goes berserk, it's trying to kill Rei.

When Shinji and Asuka first start training to synchronise with each other in everything, Asuka is just about ready to quit until she sees Shinji and Rei work together in flawless unison.

Towards the end of Act 2, Shinji and Toji visit Rei's apartment, which reflects Shinji walking in on naked Rei in Act 1. Shinji cleans up some of the mess in her room, and when Rei walks in, she thanks him, which is apparently a new achievement unlocked for Rei.

In one awkward moment, Rei is cleaning, and as Shinji watches her, the way she rings out a cloth reminds him of how a mother would do it. How his mother would do it. Hey, remember all that stuff between Shinji, Gendo and Rei? It gets worse.

Shinji's relationship with Toji: As we know, Shinji and Toji's relationship started with Toji punching Shinji in the face. Shinji eventually punched him back, but felt wrong doing it. While Toji is consistently Shinji's friend from then on, he's still not a fan of the Evas. Eventually, he's recruited as an Eva pilot, which he agrees to only on the condition that his sister be moved to a better hospital. When Toji undergoes his first sync test, Eva Unit 03 activates and immediately reveals itself to be the 13th Angel.

Shinji, Rei and Asuka in Units 00, 01 and 02 go up against Unit 03. Asuka/02 is the first to be taken down. Unit 03 then attacks Rei/00, and starts leaking its angelic goodness into Unit 00's arm. While the nerve connections are still active, Commander Ikari orders that 00's arm be cut off. Rei clearly enjoys this experience. Finally, Unit 03 approaches Unit 01.

And it. Is.

...Off?

Shinji doesn't know that Toji is the pilot yet, but he knows there's another child like him trapped inside that thing, so he refuses to fight, even as the 13th Angel is killing him. Commander Ikari orders the immediate shut down of all synchronisation with Shinji, and diverts all control to the Dummy Plug System. And now...

It. Is. On.

I considered putting some pictures of the actual fight here, but I'll leave that for you to see for yourself. Instead, enjoy these screenshots of the Nerv staffs' expressions as they watch the battle unfold.

We get to hear Shinji crying out as he tries in vain to reclaim control over Unit 01: "Stop it! Father! Stop this goddamn thing for God's sake! Please! Please, just stop it! Make it stop! Dear God, make it stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!"

After all this is said and done, there's still one lingering issue. Remember how this all echoes Shinji and Toji's initial conflict, and Shinji wasn't really behind himself hitting Toji back? Remember how that resistance on Shinji's part thematically led to this? And notice how Shinji's really against it this time? In case you can't see where I'm heading with this, there's going to be one more installment to this in Act 3.

Shinji's daddy issues: This is the Act where we start to see Gendo as a human being, not just an order-giving device. Don't get me wrong, he's still a gruff arsehole, but he becomes a gruff human arsehole.

We have a couple moments in this Act in which Shinji and Gendo actually appear to be moving in the direction of a positive relationship to oneanother. In one such moment, Gendo praises Shinji's work after a battle. Earlier in the episode, Shinji said he didn't know why he piloted the Eva. After this, he realises that he's been piloting the Eva to hear praise from his father. In the other moment, Shinji and Gendo are together at the memorial place of Shinji's mother, Yui Ikari. The moment is brief, and ends with Gendo getting whisked away in a helicopter...with Rei. Hmm.

Just as how Shinji's developing relationships with Asuka and his friends leads to personal growth that pushes up his sync ratio, his brief moments of closeness with his father contribute to his growing sync ratio.

All the positive vibes go out the window in the battle against the 13th Angel, however, and afterwards Shinji refuses to pilot Eva again. That is, of course, until Unit 02 gets decapitated against the 14th Angel, and Rei does more damage to herself than to the angel as she attacks with an N2 mine. We now get to see a scene between Shinji and Gendo that reflects Shinji's initial decision to pilot Eva. But this time, instead of Shinji conceding to pilot the Eva, he abandons his "I'll never pilot that thing again" mentality and, in the series' climax, he mans up to save the world.

Shinji's mamma issues: We've already touched on Shinji visiting his mother's grave, and him being reminded of his mother when watching Rei clean.

The battle against the 12th Angel in episode 16 is the official turning point of the series where things get weird. I mean, yeah, they were weird already. You already got the from Act 1. But this is where we stop getting little glimpses of weird and get full blown w.e.i.r.d. This is also the battle where fights stop being primarily cool scenes with some hidden meanings in them, and every battle becomes immensely meaningful. This is the beginning of the rapid escalation into the climax of the series that concludes Act 2.

In this battle, Unit 01 is swallowed by the Angel, so Shinji is trapped inside the Eva, inside the Angel. In minimal life support mode, Shinji has 16 hours to live. And so he spends 16 hours losing his mind through what might be described as claustrophobia on steroids. As he waits to get rescued and at the same time prepares to die, the last thing he sees before all power in the Eva shuts down and life support terminates is his mother.

Back in Episode 1, before Shinji even agreed to pilot Unit 01, it activated itself without any power to protect him. At the time, this seemed like a silly Chosen One moment. But this happens once again in this battle. Hmm, Eva activates itself when the tech guys say that's impossible, to protect Shinji, and from inside Eva Shinji sees his mother before this happens? That sure is...interesting.

The climax: What do we know so far?

• Eva is not a robot, but a living being, cloned from Adam.
• Eva has the occasional tendency to go berserk.
• Eva Unit 01 has the occasional tendency to activate without a source of power to protect Shinji.
• Shinji's mum is popping up everywhere.
• Adam is the First Angel. All other Angels come from him and their goal is to be one with him.
• Adam is inside the depths of Nerv.
• Shinji has spent this entire series so far being moved from child to man, with everything dialed up to epic proportions.
• Sync ratios between the pilot and the Eva are kind of a big deal.

All of this culminates into one epic battle, in which math stops working, Unit 01 reactivates despite having no battery power, and not only does it go berserk, but it -- or as Dr Ritsuko Akagi corrects, she -- becomes aware.

Specialisation and Diversification

Being good at everything is overrated. Allow me to explain why in the most nerdy way possible.

In Dungeons & Dragons 3.5, there are 11 base classes:

1. Barbarian
2. Bard
3. Cleric
4. Druid
5. Fighter
6. Monk
7. Paladin
8. Ranger
9. Rogue
10. Sorcerer
11. Wizard

Each class has its own abilities. Barbarians are the toughest class, and though they aren't as skillful as fighters on the battlefield, once they fly into a rage, as a level 1 character they wield enough power to kill a full grown dragon in a single hit (if they have sufficient strength, score a critical hit with a great axe, and get a high damage roll). Wizards, on the other hand, are so frail that as a level 1 character you can pretty much kill a wizard by looking at him funny -- that'll do enough damage. But by the time they've completed all their normal levels of advancement, they're close enough to indestructible.

If you combine the two, as you progress you get a character of average toughness whose attacks don't get that much better and whose magic becomes formidable, but far from terrifying. By trying to get some of the other, you lose the best of either.

The bard is traditionally the most hated class. Why? Because the bard is a "jack of all trades, master of none." The bard has moderate battle skills, moderate thieving abilities, and moderate magic abilities. The bard can do almost everything -- he just can't do anything to a high caliber, even when he's completed all his normal level advancements.

But if the bard is so bad, guess what? Pick 10 classes (you can't have all 11 because of the special rules regarding monks and paladins), raise each of them to level 2, and you'll have a level 20 character, which is the highest normal advancement (before entering epic levels). And this will single-handedly be the worst character of all. They will be able to do anything. But they will suck at everything.

Real life isn't that much different. You can basically extend your expertise and experience in two ways:

1. Broaden your knowledge
2. Deepen your knowledge

To a certain extent, increasing the breadth of your kowledge is good. For example, as a trainer I have a lot of knowledge about fitness, and am currently broadening my knowledge to deal with business, so that I can actually make money as a trainer, instead of being unemployed and helping nobody.

However, if your knowledge, expertise and experience are all in the form of a hole that you're digging, with each stab of the shovel into the dirt, you can either make the whole wider or deeper, but not both (except for your very first strikes, which both broaden and deepen the hole simultaneously). The difficulty here is that depth is necessary.

With depth comes impact. The deeper your knowledge, the greater an impact you can provide.

With breadth comes range. If depth determines the severity of the impact, then breadth determines how many contexts in which you can make an impact.

Too little breadth means specialising in something that is seldom applicable. Too much breadth means sacrificing depth, which in turn means being broadly okayish at lots of stuff, but being rather incompetent when it comes to the specifics. The right amount of breadth allows a great deal of applicable depth.

Overview of Neon Genesis: Evangelion

95% of my posts here are about fitness. The other 5% are about my faith and worldview. Those figures are going to have to get a little bit skewed now, because today I'm going to post about the other key element of my being: my utter nerdiness. It may be baffling for someone as into fitness as me to also be a nerd, but hey, I'm also a Christian who studies science, and a creative type who's talented (although unskilled out of sheer laziness) at math. I like to be superficially contradictory things. Without further adieu, I'm going to start blabbing about one of my favourite TV shows of all time, the 1990's anime Neon Genesis: Evangelion. There are spoilers ahead. If you haven't watched the show and don't want me or the rest of the internet to ruin it for you, turn around now. Watch the series. Then come back here.

NGE straddles a few different genres. Broadly speaking it's a sci-fi drama. Narrowing it down, it's "giant robots vs monsters" and a "coming of age" story. The creator, Hideaki Anno, made a thing of giving conventions the finger, by subverting both these genres, giving audiences an ending they hated (and yet one which the entire series was carefully building up to), and then responding to their hatred with a movie that did its best to rape your face.

Oh, you thought I was just being figurative?

Subverting Giant Robots vs Monsters

The Evas first appear to be humanoid machines. They have pilots, a battery life and everything. But, by the end of the first battle, we learn that there's a lot more emphasis on the humanoid part of that equation, and that their machine parts are only on the outside.

The first thing we learn about the monsters is that they're angels. We're off to a good start here. We soon learn that the angels have an extremely close DNA match to humans (99.98% IIRC), that the Evas are made from one of the angels, and that the Evas have a human will inside them.

So, instead of big machines fight big monsters, we have mankind making slaves of giant humans-at-heart made from an angel in order to stop the angels. If any of that sounds like a recipe for disaster, good: now you're getting it.

Subverting the Coming of Age Story

The central character of Evangelion is Shinji Ikari, a deeply insecure, broken, psychologically frail, emotionally weak teenage boy. Everything in the story is about Shinji. Everything. All the stuff that's obviously, directly about him; all the issues of everyone around him; the battles which we all initially think are about cool action, explosions and thrashing Tokyo-3; even the superficially silly comic relief stuff: all of it is there for the purpose of taking the boy and making a man.

Doesn't sound very subversive yet. Actually,t hat sounds like the pinnacle of the coming of age genre. Here's where the subversion comes in: the series is essentially a massive 3-act play. The first act introduces Shinji and his fantasies. The second act uses every character and scenario to build him up to the point that he's ready to make the decision to be a man. Then in the final act, he will lose everything that's been holding him up enabling him to be a man. This is where the subversion comes in. We expect that the decision to man up means that he's going to conquer his fears and master his life from here on out. Nope. Everything that's brought him to the point of manning up is going to be ripped right out from underneath him. We're used to the hero turning down the help of his friends because "This is something I have to do myself." As for Shinji, he's desperately begging for anyone and everyone to help him, but against his will this is something he has to do himself. If he's going to be a man, then he's going to do it all on his own. And remember his starting point: he's a deeply insecure, broken, psychologically frail, emotionally weak teenage boy. So this is serious make or break stuff. Sink or swim. Master yourself or lose yourself.

Make or break? Break it is!

About Act 1

I'm going to draw the line and say that episodes 1-7 are Act 1. Here are some key features of the first act.

Shinji's relationship with Rei: Rei Ayanami is one of the first people we meet, after Shinji. Her initial appearance is for a brief moment, standing calmly in the middle of the road, and then disappearing in a very Batman-esque style ("Oh, I see you're blinking. This seems like an appropriate moment for me to destroy all evidence that I was ever here."). This moment makes little sense until you see the movie, because it is actually inconsistent with what is revealed about her 5 minutes later: that she's severely injured, sleeping/unconscious (until woken up), covered in bandages and barely able to sit up without yelping in pain.

There's a lot of sexual humour in Act 1, including a certain scene in Rei's apartment which, when I was Rei and Shinji's age, was one of my all-time favourite scenes of the series. Alongside all the awkward sexualisation and sexual humour, Rei symbolically plays the role of Shinji's fantasy of femalekind. She's physically attractive in a strictly technical sense (ie she's structurally attractive), she's profoundly obedient, she's the only girl (that we know of at this time) going through what Shinji's going through, and she's frequently the damsel in distress (this last point is what initially motivates Shinji to pilot Eva). It all seems like they're meant to be together. But, as the fantasy rather than the reality (symbolically speaking), things don't get to play out that way. Rei is emotionally distant, and, from her end, emotional engagement with Shinji only happens when his knight-in-shining-armour-ness reminds her of Shinji's father. If that sounds creepy, don't worry. It gets worse. More on that later.

 Gendo Ikari saves Rei from being boiled in her entry plug

Shinji Ikari saves Rei from being boiled in her entry plug

Shinji's relationship with Kensuke and Toji: Kensuke Aida and Toji Suzuhara are two of Shinji's classmates, and the only people we'll really see become Shinji's friends throughout the bulk of the story. Kensuke, like Shinji, has no mother. Kensuke in some sort of idealised form of Shinji: we never see him showing any signs of insecurity or emotional weakness, and while Shinji's the frontman of a war he doesn't want to be a part of, Kensuke is a war-enthusiast, lamenting the fact that he doesn't get to be a part of the war.

Toji's first impressions of Shinji aren't all the flattering, unless you consider a heavy fist or two in the face a nice way to say hello. Shinji's first Eva battle has left Toji's sister severely wounded, so when Toji finds out that Shinji was piloting Eva Unit 01, Toji's not impressed. Later, after Toji and Kensuke's lives are directly saved by Shinji in the Eva, Toji insists that Shinji punch him back. Shinji does it, but immediately regrets it, insisting that he's the one who deserves to be punched, not Toji. Symbolically, this conflict and attitude has huge ramifications in Acts 2 and 3, playing out on a much larger scale.

Shinji's daddy issues: We don't learn much about Gendo Ikari in the first act, even though he's constantly around giving orders. We get to see that he's gruff and unfriendly right off the bat, that he has a cold employer/employee relationship with Shinji (which has been inactive for 3 years before the story starts), and that Shinji hates him. In episodes 5 and 6, we see Gendo caring about Rei, and Rei, who normally expresses very little of anything, lighting up when he speaks to her. Shinji freaks out a bit at the sight of this. It isn't clear to me whether he's jealous of Rei attaining his father's affection, or of his father attaining Rei's affection, so just to be safe I'm going to say it's both.

Shinji's mamma issues: We don't learn much about Shinji's mum at this point in the story. In fact, I'm not even sure if she's mentioned. But she has a great substitute in Misato Katsuragi. And by great, I mean Shinji's quick appraisal upon seeing the inside of her apartment is: "Ice....snacks....and fifty gallons of beer! What kind of life does she lead?!" Misato functions as Shinji's guardian throughout the series, which is made creepy by a whole lot of awkward sexual humour between the two early on, which reverberates later on. The sexual tension seems to be dismantled a lot through Shinji being unimpressed with Misato's sloppy housekeeping.

What's up with all this awkward sexual stuff, anyway? The short answer is: Shinji's a young teenage boy. No, really, that's it. Well, I guess the assumption that most of the audience are also teenagers (or creepy old people who are into awkward teenage sexuality issues?), and feeding the audience fan service is a factor, too (a factor that's played up really blatantly, mind you), but the more I watch this series, the more I think that everything being sexualised early on is about Shinji working through his sexual frustrations and identity more than anything else. Or maybe that's just a more comfortable way for me to think about it than to watch it now and awkwardly look away and shake my head when Shinji walks in on a naked Rei or gets flustered when Misato's boobs are in his face.

Subtle.

The sexual stuff goes deeper than awkward humour, though. The Third Angel (which is the first enemy of the series) is symbolic of Shinji's relationship with womankind. In particular, it's symbolic of when that relationship is damaged. Eva Unit 01 rips out one of the angel's ribs and uses that rib as a weapon, referencing woman being made of man's rib in the Bible. The angel, realising that it's going to die, decides that if it has to die, it may as well take down the Eva and everything else with it, indicating the messy crap that tends to happen during a break-up.

In turn, the Fourth Angel represents Shinji's estranged relationship with malekind. I almost don't want to write this, because I was able to go so long without seeing it, and once it's been seen, it can't be unseen. For years I was able to look at the Fourth Angel and just see a giant, buggy worm. And I like it that way. I want it to go back to that way. But again, what has been seen cannot be unseen. The Fourth Angel is a giant penis.

It's even got the...and the....and the way it...

Well, I'm overdue for sleep now. I'll continue this with Acts 2 and 3 once I've had some more sleep, and actually have the time to write. I'd say goodnight, but after seeing a penis like that...